Welcome to Here

Not sure!

2011-12-19T14:45:00.000-08:00

This blog in particular is a small bucket of musings, some pieces of vulnerability I've been compelled to post at times, and other miscellaneous items. Deciding on the direction.

112211

2011-11-22T22:12:00.001-08:00

When surges

Raw

like this

as ice with

Salted wounds

Throb

in the chest

& 60th birthday parties

don't happen

What is there

to do?

About it.

What is there

but dry lips

heavy bursts

& heart slips.

There is poetry in the heart

2011-11-10T22:01:00.001-08:00

And now for tomorrow.

2010-08-24T22:49:00.000-07:00

A homework assignment, proven valuable.
Here goes:

Jessica Maynard
Bio and Acu explanatory
Business Management I
Summer 2010

Jessica grew up in the beautiful city of Madison, WI, home of three natural lakes, amazing bike routes, and one of the most fabulous farmers markets in the country. There, she became intimately familiar with the beauty of the changing seasons and learned to endure long, harsh winters. After moving with her family to Bloomington, IN, where she attended Indiana University, graduating with a history and Spanish degree in 1999, she found her way out to the magnificent pine tree, ocean, and cascadia-bound city of Portland, OR in 2001. In Portland she has enjoyed a cyclic route to the path of acupuncture and Chinese Medicine. She has waitressed, carpentered, taught gymnastics, and provided interpreting services for latino patients in western medical settings. Finding her way through college courses in chemistry and biochemistry at Portland State University, she found her feet landing on a path to the Oregon College of Oriental Medicine, from which she graduated in 2011, a decade after landing in PDX. Her excitement for this medicine is bountiful. Her commitment to your health and wellbeing is unlimited. She is excited to meet you and discuss your health concerns and goals for healing in this city, and in this world. Welcome!

What is Acupuncture?

Acupuncture is a complex and beautiful way of tapping into a person’s healing network. Referred to as the meridian,or channel, system in Chinese medicine, a type of energy called Qi flows freely and harmoniously when a person is in a condition of optimal health. Blockages in the flow can cause mild to severe health issues. By encouraging these channels to reorder and reset through applying very fine needles(the main tool of the acupuncturist)to specific points on the body, healing occurs and the patient is able to achieve the health we all are capable of experiencing. Other methods of therapy in Chinese medicine include moxibustion, cupping, and gua sha, medicinal herbs, and herbal formulas.

Finding Resonance

2010-02-11T16:42:00.000-08:00

I began a journal entry and it turned into this poem last night, and I felt it deeply. I wonder if others can see its message and would feel it too.

My wish/desire,

simultaneous diametric opposition:

I wish to be better.

And I wish to be less hard on myself.

My embarrassments run aplenty,

harsh criticism of my own actions run deep.

My light shines.

I am raven.

How perfect is my imperfection.

Accepting once and ever again until no more~

delight shadows a bright encounter.

Where does the curtain close, yet open?

How do I continue

in trenches

and in trepidation?

The warrior simply does not listen. (for that is how he/she conquers fear)

The warrior is still.

My warrior fights on.

Kicking, stepping, defeating.

Tripping.

Falling

Alight, on toes and

dancing.

The fire in my core taps into sunlight,

today not clouds.

Still, where does one find that bootstrap,

the face to fight again

(the reset button)

the noteworthy to no one but yourself--

that I have made it this far.

And on I go. And I will do it all.

Again

and again.

A Release....

2008-12-06T20:30:00.000-08:00

Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Almost There. Where?

2008-12-06T19:57:00.000-08:00

I have to admit to frustration.

I am here on the eve of an ensuing week of finals. In fact, It's Saturday night. I'll be studying with a friend tonight. (With beer in hand, mind you!)
I have worked so hard this fall. I don't think I knew before that I was capable of this, of what I have accomplished, all at once, within the past few months. I didn't know.
Ok, ok. I am proud of myself. I remained calm and collected, not too stressed but in moments. There were times when I would have liked to keep up on things more precisely, would have liked to feel 'on top' of things, but you know, just to get a little...well...that's not what life is about. Life is not about being/feeling 'on top' of things. It's about being with them.
Does that make sense?
It's not about being in control. It's about dancing. Catch and release. Allowing intention to mix with randomness and to feel blanketed by the good in it all.

But why am I frustrated? with such wisdom a-bounty why would one be so shortsighted?

You know what, it's that I haven't cooked a really good, healthy meal in ages. I'm not kidding. I eat, don't get me wrong. I find fast and easy frozen things or things in boxes...see? I don't even call it food. I eat things. AAAARrrh.

This is why I spent my twenties (ok. part of the reason why--we can talk philosophy and the phenomenon of the late bloomer some other day, hopefully in person) floating in quasi-unemployment, poor as all get out, part-time whatever whatever (I can't count the jobs I've held in Portland on both hands), part time enraptured in, in love with.....time!!! I used to cook so much, I used to bake all day, I would share all the lovely food with my roommates at the time and with people we would have over for dinner. I loved the food I ate. It nourished me.

And tonight I made some TJ's rice and threw in some corn, and both were out of a plastic bag that I pulled out of my freezer. And I sat here and ate it while I began to type this post and it was fine. I've got things to do.

I want to cook a sustainable, local, nourishing, delicious meal. Not only because the food is good for you, but because so is the cooking.

That's why I am frustrated. I have not the time at the moment. But soon. Almost.....there.

Hello Halloween Happiness

2008-10-31T22:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is November and it is hard to believe. All goes well, having gone through a 'crunchy' spot this week, cleared up by the coming to be beloved qigong I've got going on, and the shift of the moon to new.
I made it out to see some yellow leaves on the trees today, visiting the electricity of a lovely Wahkeena Falls on our gorgeous gorge this later afternoon. The light was dimming a bit so next time I'll go further. It was just nice to breathe the air. I would like to post some images... I need a digital camera to document life happenings after my summer of going technologically backwards....it was like a party(or not) in 1999 one day when I found myself waiting for a new phone to arrive in the post, stuck in my house so I could sign for it, no internet, no nothing, well yes the NYT perhaps if my roommate had left it, awaiting this little piece of plastic and metal so that I could hop in my car to drive to Seattle and really be a part of 2008, but boy it was kinda weird! In any case my digital camera disappeared before my phone ever died and it has yet to be replaced.

To placate this need for visual stimulation of life...(mine or otherwise) I've got some images of Io, a moon of Jupiter, from the Cassini site. Check this site out! yes.

http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/home/index.cfm

go to the images. choose your favorite. click and drag. Wha-lah! new image for your desktop maybe?? I peer at Jupiter's South pole when I close this browser.
well anyways. off track, but this is the blog of the evening. a stream.

please visit again soon. someday you might be surprised to see some visions that I capture with my own eyes and can transfer electronically. In the meantime, I will continue to cultivate my chi and see if it can get organized enough..... zap, from mind to machine--the bounteous images beheld by my eyes.

Welcoming back

2008-10-19T21:24:00.000-07:00

Well, just as I've not posted to this in a bit too long, I've also not kept up well with my Qigong. And that rhymed.
I will I will. I will do my qigong. Tired I am, but it will help me to keep up on other things, including a communication to this space called cyber and to who knows whomelse (is that a word?)? I am not sure who checks on my page. If you do, thank you. Please return.
I will.

So, tonight I found some bubble wrap, the kind with the big bubbles, in my basement. I found it because I stepped on it. And you know what? It felt so goooood. So here's a tip if you as well are not keeping up on your qigong either: take that bubble wrap, lay it out on your kitchen floor, and step on it. Step and step and step and step. Do a little dance. It's nice. You'll love it as much as I did.

Peace.

well then...

2008-10-02T22:31:00.000-07:00

hmmmmmm. to post more later.

thanks for listening.

A New Day

2008-09-23T18:25:00.000-07:00

I was oh-so inspired this morning by my Oriental Medicine Research class's instructor, Bob Quinn, with his revelations on the life of Richard Buckminster Fuller. A quote to inspire the masses, as I was warmed and uplifted to hear: at the site of BF's almost-suicide, he took a moment to contemplate and shifted gears deciding to embark on "an experiment, to find what a single individual [could] contribute to changing the world and benefiting all humanity".

Not that I've been quite to that precipice, but seriously. What a beautiful gift to the world so many have made by choosing a path dedicated to the idea lying behind that quote.

I am so thankful to those I am and am not aware of pledging to that path.

Yes!

2008-09-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

At the Kennedy School hottubs tonight I ran into some lovely folks I know. One, who had been at the party on Saturday exclamed, "Hey! I heard the other night that you know something about Fingers!!" yes. a little. a very little. I will share here another time, but I must say that it was fun to be given the test of knowledge....which by the way resides in the right thumb, supported by the left which is stability.

Qigong

2008-09-22T13:19:00.001-07:00

Hello! My year has begun, and I've started school. One of my assignments is to keep a journal of my developing Qigong practice. I am posting some of the parts I feel like sharing and adding some details I'd like to add.
Breathe, take care of yourself, and enjoy.

9/22

Our class began Thursday afternoon.
We did intros in which we shared something of ourselves that we think people would not know about us at first (or second) glance. I quickly threw out three (ha ha). That I was a gymnast as a youngster, I forgot the second now, and that I like Kung Fu movies, which caused an uproar (elated exclamations)...and later we started formulating ideas for study-horror/KungFu movie watching sessions.
It's going to be a good year.
We then went through some of the beginning movements, which cleansed a surface layer of my being....can't wait for some more. As I hear through the grapevine, it will go deep. I will change. I will watch my fellow classmates transform as well. I felt elated after the class and through the evening, in love with school already.

This morning I awoke at 8:15 to begin a practice, not quite meeting the goal of arising before 8 a.m. I hope to awake at 7 in the future to do this, someday in the 6 a.m. hour. This week practicing self-massage by Master Liu He: breathe.....
rest right hand over left, thumbs touching.
Rub hands together. massage face. shake hands(removes old Chi). rub together. massage scalp. shake hands. rub together. cup eyes. shake....
this goes into a series of other small movements that include tapping some acupoints (lung 1, kidney 1)...
end with quiet meditation. So far I can keep it up for a short while. A friend suggested meditating by staring into the flame of a candle. which helps.

The other day I did some of this practice after work, and studied a bit about the meaning of each finger, which I shared with friends at gatherings later in the evening. Friends were interested and conversation ensued, in and out of my presence. I love igniting conversation.
This self-massage technique feels great-very self-caring and loving, giving of self-attention, something I am needing right now as well as in general, having a tendency to be so heady: like Oh yeah! There is a body here that has thoughts and feelings too.
I look forward to the awakened communication that I (my mind?) and my body will cultivate in the coming year and beyond.

Sentimental Perhaps

2008-04-30T18:04:00.001-07:00

Evolve

Like pieces of a puzzle
Put together over a lifetime
Or ages
Finding one part to fit together
Neatly
At times jumbled, disjointed
Then moving on to the next
Or going pack to an unfinished spot
Ten years ago.
Evolving slowly
At a unique pace
In a singular method
Like the child who stops always
To smell the flowers
But who understands the roots
Of intricate beauty
And need not draw and label them
In a school book.
For they are who they are
Those children
Piecing together their adult lives
As if they should have known.

so new

2008-04-22T18:40:00.000-07:00

So I suppose rather than the delirious rant of yesteryear, I will post up some poetry soon.
Soon. Not now.

First blog, oh my!

2007-11-11T13:09:00.000-08:00

This was written last November in a fit of emotion, my mind racing as various news clips, daily experiences and visions can sometimes do. Editing aside, I suppose it's time to just put it out there. I know many have been doing this thing for years now, and are used to the forum. I, however, find it almost excruciatingly painfully fearsome to post this. But I will. It's the first of many thoughts abounding in my psyche (i.e. mind and soul) to be made so, well, public.

Finally, inspiration. The Sunday Times today caused an eruption of self-motivation to start this:
My response to DNA and whether this code of carbon, nitrogen and hydrogen can diffuse or infuse intelligence into our lives and individual selves?? The discussion out there is absolutely infuriating. Our historical, cultural, economic and ego-centric definition of what intelligence is leaves so much to be desired. Racial differences in DNA, okay. Differences in physiology, health, disease-susceptibility, predisposition to such and such, fine. And perhaps perhaps ways of thinking and communicating those synaptic calculations, thoughts, feelings, ideas, wants, desires, needs, cares, all culturally and environmentally as well as historically and yes, evolutionarily-based, well, can we please stop placing value on so many aspects of humanity?

I believe I was subjected to an I.Q. test around the age of 5 or 6. Did it test my cognitive skills? yes, and did it test my abilities to visualize and piece together puzzles? I remember so, and did the person administering the test time me as I did so? I do not know, but probably. Does speed matter anyways? In the world created upon an economic stronghold that has long been ruling the planet, yes. Am I now evaluated and pushed to regurgitate information handed to me in varying formats, dependent upon a lecturer's (i.e. professor's) skills and tested on my ability to handle the stress that accompanies such 'midterms', awarded a grade that may determine the 'success' of my future and placed in a pool of students, rank and file? Absolutely.

Since when did an I.Q. test or college exam probe one's ability to think about the community? Or to share? Or to place a hand out and react empathetically? Is this a facet of intelligence?
Whose DNA expresses the most ability to cultivate and pass on these kinds of skills? And really, who cares whether it is in our genetic material or not? How about oral history in play and rhythm, song and dance as a way to communicate or express thoughts, seasonal needs, or might I say it--intelligence?

When, folks, do we lay down the ego and just let ourselves be?