Last night I went out with some friends, we frolicked from eatery to bar and yet another to cap off the night with hot toddies on the way home...spontaneous fun.
And then I came home and wrote this. More spontaneous fun. I like it!
I want to sink into your imaginary arms.
and then manifest them.
Until they become true.
Truly Truly
You.
I ride the day in captivity
meaning
my own reality
because that's what it is
until I share it.
with anybody.
but anybody can be anybody
And You are You
offering everybody
a goodbye to my hello
Visit.
Stay.
You are welcome,
so are they.
We'll have a big par-tay,
then last the night
to the bright new day.
And who and who
stayed clearly so.
You and You.
I think so.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Almost There. Where?
I have to admit to frustration.
I am here on the eve of an ensuing week of finals. In fact, It's Saturday night. I'll be studying with a friend tonight. (With beer in hand, mind you!)
I have worked so hard this fall. I don't think I knew before that I was capable of this, of what I have accomplished, all at once, within the past few months. I didn't know.
Ok, ok. I am proud of myself. I remained calm and collected, not too stressed but in moments. There were times when I would have liked to keep up on things more precisely, would have liked to feel 'on top' of things, but you know, just to get a little...well...that's not what life is about. Life is not about being/feeling 'on top' of things. It's about being with them.
Does that make sense?
It's not about being in control. It's about dancing. Catch and release. Allowing intention to mix with randomness and to feel blanketed by the good in it all.
But why am I frustrated? with such wisdom a-bounty why would one be so shortsighted?
You know what, it's that I haven't cooked a really good, healthy meal in ages. I'm not kidding. I eat, don't get me wrong. I find fast and easy frozen things or things in boxes...see? I don't even call it food. I eat things. AAAARrrh.
This is why I spent my twenties (ok. part of the reason why--we can talk philosophy and the phenomenon of the late bloomer some other day, hopefully in person) floating in quasi-unemployment, poor as all get out, part-time whatever whatever (I can't count the jobs I've held in Portland on both hands), part time enraptured in, in love with.....time!!! I used to cook so much, I used to bake all day, I would share all the lovely food with my roommates at the time and with people we would have over for dinner. I loved the food I ate. It nourished me.
And tonight I made some TJ's rice and threw in some corn, and both were out of a plastic bag that I pulled out of my freezer. And I sat here and ate it while I began to type this post and it was fine. I've got things to do.
I want to cook a sustainable, local, nourishing, delicious meal. Not only because the food is good for you, but because so is the cooking.
That's why I am frustrated. I have not the time at the moment. But soon. Almost.....there.
I am here on the eve of an ensuing week of finals. In fact, It's Saturday night. I'll be studying with a friend tonight. (With beer in hand, mind you!)
I have worked so hard this fall. I don't think I knew before that I was capable of this, of what I have accomplished, all at once, within the past few months. I didn't know.
Ok, ok. I am proud of myself. I remained calm and collected, not too stressed but in moments. There were times when I would have liked to keep up on things more precisely, would have liked to feel 'on top' of things, but you know, just to get a little...well...that's not what life is about. Life is not about being/feeling 'on top' of things. It's about being with them.
Does that make sense?
It's not about being in control. It's about dancing. Catch and release. Allowing intention to mix with randomness and to feel blanketed by the good in it all.
But why am I frustrated? with such wisdom a-bounty why would one be so shortsighted?
You know what, it's that I haven't cooked a really good, healthy meal in ages. I'm not kidding. I eat, don't get me wrong. I find fast and easy frozen things or things in boxes...see? I don't even call it food. I eat things. AAAARrrh.
This is why I spent my twenties (ok. part of the reason why--we can talk philosophy and the phenomenon of the late bloomer some other day, hopefully in person) floating in quasi-unemployment, poor as all get out, part-time whatever whatever (I can't count the jobs I've held in Portland on both hands), part time enraptured in, in love with.....time!!! I used to cook so much, I used to bake all day, I would share all the lovely food with my roommates at the time and with people we would have over for dinner. I loved the food I ate. It nourished me.
And tonight I made some TJ's rice and threw in some corn, and both were out of a plastic bag that I pulled out of my freezer. And I sat here and ate it while I began to type this post and it was fine. I've got things to do.
I want to cook a sustainable, local, nourishing, delicious meal. Not only because the food is good for you, but because so is the cooking.
That's why I am frustrated. I have not the time at the moment. But soon. Almost.....there.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Hello Halloween Happiness
Tomorrow is November and it is hard to believe. All goes well, having gone through a 'crunchy' spot this week, cleared up by the coming to be beloved qigong I've got going on, and the shift of the moon to new.
I made it out to see some yellow leaves on the trees today, visiting the electricity of a lovely Wahkeena Falls on our gorgeous gorge this later afternoon. The light was dimming a bit so next time I'll go further. It was just nice to breathe the air. I would like to post some images... I need a digital camera to document life happenings after my summer of going technologically backwards....it was like a party(or not) in 1999 one day when I found myself waiting for a new phone to arrive in the post, stuck in my house so I could sign for it, no internet, no nothing, well yes the NYT perhaps if my roommate had left it, awaiting this little piece of plastic and metal so that I could hop in my car to drive to Seattle and really be a part of 2008, but boy it was kinda weird! In any case my digital camera disappeared before my phone ever died and it has yet to be replaced.
To placate this need for visual stimulation of life...(mine or otherwise) I've got some images of Io, a moon of Jupiter, from the Cassini site. Check this site out! yes.
http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/home/index.cfm
go to the images. choose your favorite. click and drag. Wha-lah! new image for your desktop maybe?? I peer at Jupiter's South pole when I close this browser.
well anyways. off track, but this is the blog of the evening. a stream.
please visit again soon. someday you might be surprised to see some visions that I capture with my own eyes and can transfer electronically. In the meantime, I will continue to cultivate my chi and see if it can get organized enough..... zap, from mind to machine--the bounteous images beheld by my eyes.
I made it out to see some yellow leaves on the trees today, visiting the electricity of a lovely Wahkeena Falls on our gorgeous gorge this later afternoon. The light was dimming a bit so next time I'll go further. It was just nice to breathe the air. I would like to post some images... I need a digital camera to document life happenings after my summer of going technologically backwards....it was like a party(or not) in 1999 one day when I found myself waiting for a new phone to arrive in the post, stuck in my house so I could sign for it, no internet, no nothing, well yes the NYT perhaps if my roommate had left it, awaiting this little piece of plastic and metal so that I could hop in my car to drive to Seattle and really be a part of 2008, but boy it was kinda weird! In any case my digital camera disappeared before my phone ever died and it has yet to be replaced.
To placate this need for visual stimulation of life...(mine or otherwise) I've got some images of Io, a moon of Jupiter, from the Cassini site. Check this site out! yes.
http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/home/index.cfm
go to the images. choose your favorite. click and drag. Wha-lah! new image for your desktop maybe?? I peer at Jupiter's South pole when I close this browser.
well anyways. off track, but this is the blog of the evening. a stream.
please visit again soon. someday you might be surprised to see some visions that I capture with my own eyes and can transfer electronically. In the meantime, I will continue to cultivate my chi and see if it can get organized enough..... zap, from mind to machine--the bounteous images beheld by my eyes.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Welcoming back
Well, just as I've not posted to this in a bit too long, I've also not kept up well with my Qigong. And that rhymed.
I will I will. I will do my qigong. Tired I am, but it will help me to keep up on other things, including a communication to this space called cyber and to who knows whomelse (is that a word?)? I am not sure who checks on my page. If you do, thank you. Please return.
I will.
So, tonight I found some bubble wrap, the kind with the big bubbles, in my basement. I found it because I stepped on it. And you know what? It felt so goooood. So here's a tip if you as well are not keeping up on your qigong either: take that bubble wrap, lay it out on your kitchen floor, and step on it. Step and step and step and step. Do a little dance. It's nice. You'll love it as much as I did.
Peace.
I will I will. I will do my qigong. Tired I am, but it will help me to keep up on other things, including a communication to this space called cyber and to who knows whomelse (is that a word?)? I am not sure who checks on my page. If you do, thank you. Please return.
I will.
So, tonight I found some bubble wrap, the kind with the big bubbles, in my basement. I found it because I stepped on it. And you know what? It felt so goooood. So here's a tip if you as well are not keeping up on your qigong either: take that bubble wrap, lay it out on your kitchen floor, and step on it. Step and step and step and step. Do a little dance. It's nice. You'll love it as much as I did.
Peace.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
A New Day
I was oh-so inspired this morning by my Oriental Medicine Research class's instructor, Bob Quinn, with his revelations on the life of Richard Buckminster Fuller. A quote to inspire the masses, as I was warmed and uplifted to hear: at the site of BF's almost-suicide, he took a moment to contemplate and shifted gears deciding to embark on "an experiment, to find what a single individual [could] contribute to changing the world and benefiting all humanity".
Not that I've been quite to that precipice, but seriously. What a beautiful gift to the world so many have made by choosing a path dedicated to the idea lying behind that quote.
I am so thankful to those I am and am not aware of pledging to that path.
Not that I've been quite to that precipice, but seriously. What a beautiful gift to the world so many have made by choosing a path dedicated to the idea lying behind that quote.
I am so thankful to those I am and am not aware of pledging to that path.
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